We open on twincest

Riverdale doesn’t have characters, exactly. It mostly has hair. The color palette on this show recalls an underage game of Clue. Betty Cooper, latte blonde, hair pulled back into a ponytail, approachable in desert pink, imaginary blue, millennial wheat. Veronica Lodge, raven-haired and nouveau riche, with eyebrows for days, in Kate Spade plums and Alice + Olivia blacks, always lightly choked by pearls or guilt. Cheryl Blossom, the redhead, Poison Ivy by way of Regina George, a Pre-Raphaelite Jessica Rabbit, an anti-Weasley, smooth and creamy like a skinless almond.

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